Haven't posted for a while. This is because I haven't had any serious depressive episodes. Not since my last serious conversation with the boyfriend.
Turns out that he'd used an imprecise phrase in April, and when I misinterpreted it, he didn't correct me. He said, "I wouldn't feel comfortable if you were around while I was doing these things with other people." What he meant was, "I worry that you would feel uncomfortable if you saw me doing these things with other people."
D'oh.
I pointed out that I had in fact already seen him in that situation at a party, and been okay with it. (Slightly miffed that he hadn't mentioned that interest to me, but I got over that quickly.) I also pointed out that I was the first person to chain him to a bed, so he should have known that I had *some* interest in that area!
Anyway, I've been broadly well since then. I even went to a fetish club last night, for the first time ever. Was rather nice - saw some friends, made some new ones. Will be going again!
However, the downside to not getting down (stay with me - I think I know what I mean) is that I'm still cresting a high. I just saw a video on the Internet, and while it's supposed to be inspirational, it nearly moved me to tears:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siu6JYqOZ0g&feature=player_embedded
(Plus Mr Watts used a phrase that resonated within me - "all retch and no vomit". To someone who's suffered with stomach ulcers, that's a very familiar sensation!)
So, for the moment I and well. I am aware that this state cannot last (no high lasts forever), so I am at least prepared for the inevitable crash. I just hope that I can managed things so that it glides.
